Why do you suffer the anguish? Get to a doctor and deal with something real as opposed to something in your head. I had a toe amputated and the bone got infected so more surgery and lots of nasty antibiotics that make me deathly ill. Last weekend I suffered ventricular tachycardia — my heart had an elephant sitting on it and squeezing it until I screamed out in pain for 1 1/2 hours. Finally a cardio doctor gave me two injections of lidocaine which finally tripped the internal pacemaker and stopped the pain. I have never been in such pain. I just got off the phone with his head nurse practitioner. They want to set up an oblation where they will remove some of the scar tissue that has built up over the last 8 heart seizures — not heart attacks. Although I did have one of those on my birthday 11/14/18. They defibrillated me and I suffered PTSD for 6 months. I literally lost my mind. I couldn’t find. I couldn’t lay down in bed — that is where I suffered 3 panic attacks. They finally gave me some adavan to keep my calm at home. In May my psychiatrist finally gave me Cymbalta and Clonazepam to ease the pain and the nerve pain. Wonder drugs. I was back to myself again. I could write. I could focus. I can lay in bed and sleep for 2 hours. Yippee. Now I haveWHAT IS AMIODARONE AND HOW DOES IT WORK?

Amiodarone is used to treat certain types of serious (possibly fatal) irregular heartbeat (such as persistent ventricular fibrillation/tachycardia). It is used to restore normal heart rhythm and maintain a regular, steady heartbeat.

Amiodarone is known as an anti-arrhythmic drug. It works by blocking certain electrical signals in the heart that can cause an irregular heartbeat.

My wife does not know or does not accept how serious my tachycardia was. The doctor knows I almost died. I have a DNR and I told them I was not going to verbally override it. I was not going to go thru that pain again — especially for an an hour and one half. Damn ER doctor wanted to shock me again — he asked 3 times (in different ways). But now I am on the path to healing. That damn defibrillator inside me. Went off the first time at 286 beats and this time at 228 (should be 170). Why the hell did they not fix it the first. That was mine procedure last Monday to aim the damn thing in a different spot — away from the scar tissue. Damn doctors they don’t know anything you have to ask the nurses. Resident tried 3 times to put an IV in my hand and couldn’t. I told him to put it in up higher in the crook of my arm. Oh no! It won’t stay in. When I got to my room I saw that they had put the IV into my other arm — in the crook. Damn doctors. They are the ones that give me massive doses of antibiotics — 2 at a time in an IV when my cellulitis flairs up. Then I have diarrhea for three weeks because the antibiotics kill the good bacteria along with the bad. So my wife found a different bland of soup base that really quieted my stomach. I made my doctor at the VA give me a drug to calm my stomach. Why the hell didn’t they do that for the first 4 times I was in with the monster antibiotics. Hell you wait in the ER waiting room for 3 hours, then an hours to see a doctor then 6 hours before a room opens up. You could die in the hospital just waiting. But you have to do it. Why? Because eventually they do save your life. It just takes time and you have to fight like crazy the illness, the doctors, the hospital policies. I guess I had a nasty time with 8 to 20 male nurses trying to hold me down while my RLS was fully engaged and kicking to the ceiling. The doctor stood a bed away from me. They finally gave me something that calmed me down and made me slept. I was the talk of the hospital. ;-).

Anyway that is my tale. Get you butt to the doctor and take your medicine. Do what they tell you to do instead of getting drunk (self-medicating). I still try to talk the nurses into getting me bloody Mary's — I know they work to kill the pain. But my VA doctor said she would quit prescribing my pain pills if I had another bloody Mary’s. Damn

But come to my publication Centering Yourself. You may find something to help you — the Spirit is talking to you in a still, small voice. You must learn to be quiet so hear him. I will teach you how. I have started a series on Contemplation and Centering Prayer.

Retired. I write about Current Events, Personal Experiences on Medium, on Blogger with several sites, WordPress, Substack and Gumroad.

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